Move over Dina Lohan there is a new crappy mom in town and she ain't playin around.

In an attempt to be the most embarrasing and whorry celebrity mom ever, Justin Beiber's mom is allegedly entertaining an offer to pose in playboy.  That's the spirit.  If you keep heading in the right direction Justin Beiber will be flashing his vagina to the papparazzi and having a Britney style melt down in no time.

Nicole Richie should really try to have more attractive babies

I was reading about how Nicole Richie's DUI probation got extended when I noticed that her baby is not attractive, and is a little overweight (alledgedly).  Someone needs to get this baby on a treadmill and to Dr. 90210 STAT.

Michael Jackson was probably killed by Chris Hansen

It's been a year since Michael Jackson died and we still haven't seemed to have found a replacement molester.  Probably because Chris Hansen is scaring the shit out of all of them.  I know.....inappropriate.....but go Dateline!

Robert Pattinson is grossing me out

Today I saw a preview for whatever the hell Twilight movie they are on now, and it was Robert Pattinson without his T-shirt on, and it almost made me vomit.  I really don't understand what is so attractive about a skinny extremely pale man who looks like he has hepatitus.  Can't we just find a happy medium between Jersey Shore Orange, and Hi I have a terminal illness white?  PS: When you add glitter it just makes this situation grosser.  PPS: The preview I saw did not contained the airbrushed in abs. 

Katherine Jackson is about as broke and Lindsay Lohan is sober....whatever that means :)

Speaking of Michael Jackson apparently his mom is broke as a joke.........I guess that $753 MILLION DOLLARS that dead MJ's estate made wasn't enough to keep her financially stable.  WTF-ever. The only way I would find this even remotely believable is if I found out Joe Jackson killed Katherine Jackson and was dressing up as her and pretending to be broke to try and hoard more money.  Which is completely logical and believable.  

Shawn Johnson update...ok not an update b/c this is the first time I've written about her

I guess Shawn Johnson is criticising Alabama police because they pulled over her stalker who told them he was on his way to "see Shawn Johnson and get her to marry him" or something like that (don't take my quotation marks too seriously here).  So she is mad that they didn't detain him after that. 
A) Clearly you missed the "Alabama" part, you are lucky they figured out how to turn on the lights and sirens.
 
B) Nobody really knows who you are you chubby little bastard, just a news flash, you aren't Oprah.

And C) I didn't read the entire story so there may have been more clues that would have led to an arrest but this happened in Alabama so what do you really expect.

Miley Cyrus wants to out herpe Paris Hilton

Miley Cyrus has(allegedly) been running around like a $2 hooker flashing her underage vagina to anyone that will look.  So I'm guessing that this is her way of challenging Paris Hilton to a whore duel. May the biggest slut win.